ATL Noise: Volume 7, Issue 1 (Concerts!)

Haven't done this in a while, and I happened to notice that Reel Big Fish is gonna be here in less than 2 weeks so I wonder what else I don't know!

So, here's the semiannual listing of concerts coming to the ATL that I might possibly could maybe want to go see. If you see bold, it means a much higher probability of me being there...

Sat 01/10/09 - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, The Becoming, Tickle Me Pink @ The Masquerade

Wed 01/14/09 - Sevendust @ Center Stage

Sat 01/17/09 - Reel Big Fish, The Sleeping, Emarosa, Funeral For A Friend, One Pin Short, Streetlight Manifesto @ The Masquerade

Mon 01/19/09 - Scott Weiland @ Center Stage

Fri 01/30/09 - The Killers, M83 @ Atlanta Civic Center

Mon 03/02/09 - Ludo, Sing It Loud, The Morning Light, This Providence @ The Masquerade

Wed 03/11/09 - Less Than Jake, The Expendables, The Gay Blades, VersaEmerge, Ace Enders, Craig Owens of Chiodos @ The Masquerade

Why I'm Dumb (Part 297)

This one I had to put as its own blog entry.

Last week, I finally found and bought a Wii. I've been out of town, so I really hadn't had a chance to mess with it until tonight. So, I finally put a disc in and am excited about playing. "Unable to read disc" WTF???? I check the manual, do the suggestions, and it still doesn't work. I go to their website...nothing helps. I finally have to call them. Here's how that went down:

Me: Hi, I'm getting a disc read error, my first time I'm trying to play a game
Nintendo Girl: Is your console horizontal or vertical?
Me: Horizontal
NG: Is the power button on the right or the left?
Me: Right
NG: Sir, your console is...
Me: Noooooooooooooooo Waaaaayyyyyyyy
NG: ...upside down
Me: You have GOT to be kidding me.
NG: You're not the first and you won't be the last, I promise. You're the second one today actually.


Well, at least she made me feel a little better!

Pizza Bowl without Pizza

This was too funny not to put on here...first, some background info...On Monday, the Papjohns.com Bowl was played at Legion Field in Birmingham, AL...

The Birmingham News reports:

It wouldn't be the Papajohns.com Bowl without a pizza problem. Because Legion Field has only one oven to cook pizzas, some fans waited 45 minutes for their slices before and after halftime.

Both Papa John's stands in one end zone temporarily ran out of pizza before halftime. Sodas also were sold out at one stand, where some fans lined up with three minutes left in the second quarter and finally got their slices seven minutes into the third quarter.

A Papa John's official estimated the company probably lost $2,000 by being unable to make halftime sales.

Seriously? People waited THAT long for a piece of pizza?

I stole this quote from fanblogs.com, this is the funny part

Honestly... if you're going to be the Papa Johns Bowl, you need to have pizza. It's a pretty basic concept, right? That's like going to the Humanitarian Bowl and not having humans.

A Jewish Christmas

I'm pretty sure it's written in the Torah, that every year, on December 25th, all jew's are to venture to Jerusalem a Chinese Restaurant (and a movie theatre). So as a good little jew, I did just that. To make things even more jewy, I took my jew-friend Shari, to see jew-actor Adam Sandler's new movie - Bedtime Stories. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, it's a Disney Movie. It was actually pretty good.

Next up was finding the Chinese place. I hadn't yet found a good one by house that I liked, so after some research, and by the request of non-jew, Jeremy, we picked out a buffet. Only one problem...the "China Buffet" we saw on the internet (with the worlds best egg roll's according to the review) no longer existed. In it's place was a Chin-Chin, which I've been to, and didn't really want to go back. Jeremy was actually already there, with a table, but I got him to bail. We drove around for a bit, thought about trying a Thai place, but it was closed...Surprisingly, Hooters was open! We kept driving and found a place called "House of Chan". Perfect! The parking lot even smelled good! There was actually a bit of a line outside to get a table, probably another good sign. Eventually we get seated...no buffet though. The waitress had a shirt that said "Thing" in sparkles. She said that was actually her name. It's kinda tough to understand if a Chinese person is being funny sometimes.

Anyways, we look at the menu, and much laughter ensues. Never have I seen so many typo's on a menu in my life. Sure, I understand it's not their language. But I usually think Chinese people are pretty smart...smart enough to use spell checker at least! See below, see how many typo's you can find. You should be able to click on em to make em larger. My favorite is "fride rice".






With all that said, the food was VERY good. We even had a conversation with the manager about the Chinese Diet. I probably learned more talking to that guy than I knew about food in the last 2 years. But, much like college, I've forgotten pretty much all of it already :) I do remember he said that spicy food prevents colds and eating bamboo prevents colon cancer...I think.

Danielson Checks himself into Hospital

CBS Announcer Danielson Checks himself into Hospital

ATLANTA, GA — At approximately 11 pm Saturday night, CBS sports announcer Gary Danielson realized it was time to head for the emergency room.

"Every single commercial for a male virility pill, like Viagra or Cialis, says that if your erection lasts for more than four hours, then you should call a doctor," Danielson said. "Well I had the biggest Tebowner of my life yesterday, and it started about 3 pm eastern time and it wasn't gone by 11 pm, and I knew it wasn't even close to being gone, so I came to the ER."

The Tebowner seems to have been a direct result of Tim Tebow's dominant performance in the SEC Championship game against Alabama. As of the publication of this piece, Danielson remained in care with a lot of attention being paid to him, as doctors worked in vain to figure out what they could do to treat the Tebowner.

"It's a really difficult thing to treat," said Dr. Pervez Mushtaf, of the Atlanta Regional Medical Center. "Tebowners start off and they feel so great, you're like, 'Damn, Tim Tebow is awesome, I could feel like this forever, I hope that this feeling never ends,' that sort of thing. But then you find yourself about four hours later and you're like, ' Jesus, I mean, I love Tim Tebow, I really love Tim Tebow, but holy crap, this thing has got to go away.'"

A Tebowner is defined by the American Journal of Medicine as a "severe swelling of the genitalia resulting from long-term visual exposure to the exploits of Tim Tebow on the college football field."

Tebowners occur naturally following viewing of Florida Gators games for many people, with an extremely high prevalence in television announcers and University of Florida graduates.

"I'm not sure why, but we treat a lot of TV announcers who have severe Tebowners," Mushtaf said. "Barely a week goes by where I don't spend part of Sunday chucking cold water on Brent Musburger's hoo-hah, if you know what I mean."

As for Danielson, doctors are keeping their fingers crossed that his Tim Tebow-inspired "condition" will subside.

"We've tried cold water, and we've tried ice cubes, and we've even tried naked pictures of Rosie O'Donnell," Mushtaf said. "Nothing has worked so far. But now we've got him in there watching this year's game between the Iowa Hawkeyes and Indiana Hoosiers. That ought to make it go away."

Tebowners are a serious problem in the southeastern part of the country, where Tim Tebow is frequently viewed, and long-lasting Tebowners have been negatively affecting men across Florida for the last two years. It is a much more severe affliction than the fast-spreading Peter Warrdick that plagued Tallahassee briefly in the early part of the 1990s.

Unconquered My Ass!!!!!

Last night I suffered through yet another FSU loss, not I only did I suffer through the game (where we had to play without FIVE 5!!!!!!!!! wide receivers) but it was about 40 degrees with 20 MPH winds. In row 67, it was pretty miserable. FSU lost 27-17, and it was still much much much much easier to take than the last FSU game I went to at Georgia Tech 2 weeks ago, but I'm not trying to remember that right now.

I have an issue with FSU's new little slogan. 2 years ago, FSU debuted new all black uniforms (I still think they should try black helmets). I actually like em. But what I don't like...and I know this has to do with the actual Seminole Indian Tribe more than the football team, but on the side of the pants is the word, "UNCONQUERED". Well, guess what? If I'm a Boston College fan, I'm having a blast with it. In 2006, the all black uniforms made their debut against, guess who? Boston College. Guess which team was conquered that day? Yep. The Seminoles. Last year, FSU wised up and wore the black uniforms against Duke. Not really fair. So yesterday, back came the black uniforms. And guess who got conquered again.

I understand paying tribute to the Seminole Indian tribe, but how about we let THEM remain unconquered and the FSU football pants can just say, and bare with me on this, it's pretty drastic...NOTHING.

Oh how I miss you Leon Washington!!!! Thanks for beating the Patriots though!

If I'm a Boston College fan, I take this statue, cross out the "UN" and put the scores to the 2006 and 2008 games under it. And bam, you have a t-shirt to sell making fun of us. It's that easy. And sad.

Can someone mention to whoever makes these decisions that FSU is 8-0 all time in the all garnet get-ups?

Guerilla Radio

Man I am soooooo behind on my blogging! I really wanna get this one in quickly.

Last Friday night, I hung out with Jason in his first fatherhood fun night out. After grabbing some food, we were trying to figure out what to do, so we put our future in our friend, Jeanie. We definitely wanted to go somewhere with live music, preferably a decent cover band. With the power of the internet, we looked up what was going on when the mostest awesomest thing EVER popped up on the screen. A Rage Against the Machine "tribute" band. Just like that we were instantly excited. They played at the upstairs portion of East Andrews.

So we found out about this show pretty randomly about an hour before it was supposed to start, so we rushed off to go over there. They even had some guy open up for him who was really pretty good. He played some recognizable cover songs. Then came "Guerilla Radio" (which is a title of one of RATM's popular songs for those not in the know). And they were AWESOME. Whenever I go with Jason to see a cover band, we always look forward and scream for them to "play some Rage!" The only downfall of the concert was how empty it was in there. I almost felt bad. These guys said this was their first show in Atlanta and the crowd was sparse. Whoever was in charge of spreading the word about this band did an absolutely terrible job. I would've planned my weekend around this concert! But it worked out, with an hour's notice, we went down there and had a BLAST.