Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Did Matt get a job at

Tell me this doesn't sound like Matt's dream-job! I ordered a cd from and got this email from them, and I swear this has to be something Matt came up with...

J - Thanks for your order with CD Baby!

Shipping Address
Atlanta, GA $*&(& (to protect the innocent, well, me this time, I don't want you bastards to know where I live now!)

Qty Description Price Total
=== =========== ===== =====
1 REEL BIG FISH: our live album is better than yours $20.00 $20.00 Sub Total $20.00 Shipping $2.25 Grand Total $22.25

Your CD has been gently taken from our CD Baby shelves with sterilized contamination-free gloves and placed onto a satin pillow.

A team of 50 employees inspected your CD and polished it to make sure it was in the best possible condition before mailing.

Our packing specialist from Japan lit a candle and a hush fell over the crowd as he put your CD into the finest gold-lined box that money can buy.

We all had a wonderful celebration afterwards and the whole party marched down the street to the post office where the entire town of Portland waved 'Bon Voyage!' to your package, on its way to you, in our private CD Baby jet on this day, Wednesday, August 16th.

I hope you had a wonderful time shopping at CD Baby. We sure did. Your picture is on our wall as 'Customer of the Year'.

We're all exhausted but can't wait for you to come back to CDBABY.COM!! Thank you once again, Derek Sivers, president, CD Baby the little CD store with the best new independent music phone: 1-800-448-6369 email:

How freakin cool was THAT!!!! I didn't even know it comes with a satin pillow!!!! I guess I should be somewhat concerned seeing as I didn't send them a picture! Oh well, that was hilarious. I fully endorse this company, I don't care if it takes 3 weeks to get the CD!!!!

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Why to never EVER give money to the homeless

This is a (queue Real World theme music) true story (end music) that happened to someone who sorta knows someone I know.

Alright, so my friend Sherry (name has been changed to protect the innoncent, but it still rhymes. No one can possibly crack this one) has a 2nd date with this guy (we'll call him Bob, which may or may not rhyme, I don't actually remember his name). On his way to picking her up, Bob stops and gets gas (girls don't like guys who dont have gas). At the gas station, a wheelchaired legless homeless guy comes up to him and asks for money. Dude gives the homeless guy $5. (I was once duped into giving a homeless guy that much money at the CNN Center, but that story's for another day). If I was that homeless guy (and if I had legs) I'd do cartwheels. But instead the homeless guy reaches to shake Bob's hand, and presumes to STAB Bob with some sort of needle!!!! Half hour or so later, Bob's hand goes numb and goes to the hospital (luckily it wasn't Grady or they probably would've cut off HIS legs or something). Long story short, Bob had to get all kinds of shots, and an AIDS test! He has to wait 30 days or so to find out if he's got AIDS! AIDS! He gave the dude 5 DOLLARS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ever since I first heard this story a few weeks ago, I have lost whatever sympathy I have ever had for homeless people (which, admitably, wasn't much). I had one trying to get my attention the other day -also in a wheelchair - and I swear I almost lost it. I will never understand why these people cant find something better to do.

"Sherry" - if you've got any updates, let me know, or if I missed any good details...let me know too!