My Reward for Kicking Cancer's ASS!!!

I guess I should start by telling everyone I'm doing great. But, for those of you who don't know, here's the story...

Like anyone else, I got pretty drunk on my 30th birthday. I lost my glasses. A couple weeks later I gave up on finding them so I went to the eye doc to get new ones. During my eye exam, he found a tiny spot in my iris that he was concerned about, so he referred me to another doctor, who then referred me to another doctor at Emory. Well, Dec. 5, 2006 is a day I'll never forget. I was told I had a tumor in my eye. I decided the best way to handle this was to keep it pretty quiet. I didn't want to think about it, didn't want to worry about it. Which I was pretty impressed with myself and my ignoring abilities. I only had trouble sleeping the day I found out and the day before I started radiation.

So, Jan 11, 2007 I began my week of radiation. Which was pretty awful, I wouldn't recommend it to anyone!!!

Jan 18, 2007 I had the radiation (we'll call it "device") removed. And I've been slowly but surely regaining my vision. It's still a little blurry, but I'm doing good - all things considered.

Anyways, the point of this blog is to talk about my reward, which I'm VERY excited about!!!! It put a little bit of a dent in my tiny little savings account, but I'm pretty sure I earned it!

http://www.mitsubishi-tv.com/j/i/18326/TelevisionDetails/WD57732.html?cid=382

4-6 weeks to ship this bad boy (well, girl, named Mitsa by the way) I don't know how I'm gonna manage to get through that waiting period! But when everything's setup, we'll definitely be having some kind of viewing party at my place!!!!

Down With the Leaves

Holy crap! 2 months without a blog!

As much as I love the entire nation of Canada. I've always had one problem with the hockey team hailing from Toronto. They are known as the Toronto Maple Leafs. Yes, thats not a typo, "Leafs". I'm not sure I'll ever understand it, but, I refuse to play dumb. I will always and forever call them the "Leaves". Its just bad grammar, and I am too smart to simply play along with that game.

Now, for the game, the "Leaves" had beaten the Thrashers 8 straight times and we just weren't gonna take it anymore. Marian Hossa (pictured in one of my, uhhh, pictures) scored 3 goals and the thrashers won 5-0. There was also a pretty good fight at the end of the game! And one of my favorite Thrashers, Slava Koleslaw had 4 assists.

I got tickets through my work in their suite. In this suite was, well, nothing but a 5 foot tall stuffed "lucky" dog. After the game, a buddy of mine was chatting with the suite next to ours. Of course they had a stocked bar and all kinds of food. He managed to get a hot dog out of them. But that wasn't enough. We really had nothing to offer in the way of a trade, well, except the dog. So I stepped up and did what any good negotiator would do. I traded the dog for the rest of their food. And it was worth it! (About 20 minutes later I went over and begged for the dog back)

Hatin on the Po-leece

So I'm cruising along the miserable drive back from Roanoke, VA to ATL when I find myself doing a cool 85MPH (in a 70). Luckily, I borrowed a work-friend's radar detector/laser jammer thing-a-mah-jig.

Lets paint the picture.

This laser jammer apparently makes their radar guns useless. From what I know, it seems too good to be true!!! Anyways, it was about 30 miles north of Charlotte on I-77. I was in the left lane, a bunch of other cars I'm trying to pass in the right lane. 2 cops in the middle of the interstate. As I pass I see one of em pulling out. Shit! So I'm thinking this damn thing doesn't work! I get over to the right lane, in the back of all those cars, and they are slowing down like mad. I'm talking 55MPH (remember, this is in a 70!, why are people so dumb?). The cop is approaching in the left lane and it kinds seems like he's gonna pass me. Or not. He gets behind me and pulls me over. But, not for speeding...for "following too closely"!!! (The damn thing DID work!!!!). The cop tells me from the start that he's gonna give me a warning. He goes back to his car with my license/insurance. When he gets back he asks me to get out of my car so that he could "explain this warning" to me. Huh? Whatever, I get out and he hands me a warning (telling me that for each 10MPH I'm going I need to be 1 full car length behind...whatever). He then asks if I can pop my trunk! (huh?) Whatever, I just wanted to go, but in my car! not his! I pop the trunk he looks around. He gets me to take my luggage out...and looks sorts through it! Dirty boxers and all! he then looked at my spare tire, then he made me open up some food my mom sent me off with!!!! (Now its getting personal!!!!) He even had the nerve to say "oooh, that looks good". Now I was almost expecting him to go back to his car and bring a dog out or something. This was a never-ending search! I've got NOTHING copper!!!! Finally he searches through my car and he's satisfied. It was nice to know that I seemed threatening at least, but DAMN!!!!

So I go on my way, get off at the next exit to get gas and calm down...reached for my sunglasses...SNAP. Damnit!!! I liked those glasses :(

Did Matt get a job at cdbaby.com????

Tell me this doesn't sound like Matt's dream-job! I ordered a cd from cdbaby.com and got this email from them, and I swear this has to be something Matt came up with...

J - Thanks for your order with CD Baby!

Shipping Address
================
%*(%&(*(*^%*(&
%^$$%*
Atlanta, GA $*&(& (to protect the innocent, well, me this time, I don't want you bastards to know where I live now!)

Qty Description Price Total
=== =========== ===== =====
1 REEL BIG FISH: our live album is better than yours $20.00 $20.00 Sub Total $20.00 Shipping $2.25 Grand Total $22.25

Your CD has been gently taken from our CD Baby shelves with sterilized contamination-free gloves and placed onto a satin pillow.

A team of 50 employees inspected your CD and polished it to make sure it was in the best possible condition before mailing.

Our packing specialist from Japan lit a candle and a hush fell over the crowd as he put your CD into the finest gold-lined box that money can buy.

We all had a wonderful celebration afterwards and the whole party marched down the street to the post office where the entire town of Portland waved 'Bon Voyage!' to your package, on its way to you, in our private CD Baby jet on this day, Wednesday, August 16th.

I hope you had a wonderful time shopping at CD Baby. We sure did. Your picture is on our wall as 'Customer of the Year'.

We're all exhausted but can't wait for you to come back to CDBABY.COM!! Thank you once again, Derek Sivers, president, CD Baby the little CD store with the best new independent music phone: 1-800-448-6369 email: cdbaby@cdbaby.com http://cdbaby.com/

How freakin cool was THAT!!!! I didn't even know it comes with a satin pillow!!!! I guess I should be somewhat concerned seeing as I didn't send them a picture! Oh well, that was hilarious. I fully endorse this company, I don't care if it takes 3 weeks to get the CD!!!!

Why to never EVER give money to the homeless

This is a (queue Real World theme music) true story (end music) that happened to someone who sorta knows someone I know.

Alright, so my friend Sherry (name has been changed to protect the innoncent, but it still rhymes. No one can possibly crack this one) has a 2nd date with this guy (we'll call him Bob, which may or may not rhyme, I don't actually remember his name). On his way to picking her up, Bob stops and gets gas (girls don't like guys who dont have gas). At the gas station, a wheelchaired legless homeless guy comes up to him and asks for money. Dude gives the homeless guy $5. (I was once duped into giving a homeless guy that much money at the CNN Center, but that story's for another day). If I was that homeless guy (and if I had legs) I'd do cartwheels. But instead the homeless guy reaches to shake Bob's hand, and presumes to STAB Bob with some sort of needle!!!! Half hour or so later, Bob's hand goes numb and goes to the hospital (luckily it wasn't Grady or they probably would've cut off HIS legs or something). Long story short, Bob had to get all kinds of shots, and an AIDS test! He has to wait 30 days or so to find out if he's got AIDS! AIDS! He gave the dude 5 DOLLARS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ever since I first heard this story a few weeks ago, I have lost whatever sympathy I have ever had for homeless people (which, admitably, wasn't much). I had one trying to get my attention the other day -also in a wheelchair - and I swear I almost lost it. I will never understand why these people cant find something better to do.

"Sherry" - if you've got any updates, let me know, or if I missed any good details...let me know too!

Moving Sucks (2006 version)

First, before I begin my rant, a big thanks to:

Shari, Janice, Jeremy, Joe, Kim, Ric, Tracy, PK and Cintron!!!!! You guys made it a hell of alot better than last time!

Now for the rant. Whats better than waking up at 6:30am on the day you're moving to a HUGE thunderstorm!!! You have GOT to be kidding me right? Well, I went back to sleep and thankfully the storm was gone and not a problem at all. But it definitely provided me with quite a scare. So I go to pick my truck up at UHaul...and apparently I because some girls' bitch!!! I asked to use a couple of those blankets to protect furniture. She says they're $1 each, but there are "a few" in the truck and she'll let me use them for free if I just fold them before returning the truck. So I think thats the greatest deal ever, us jews like free shit! I leave with the truck. When we're about to start loading it, I see why she offered me this deal. There were about 25 damn blankets in there!!!!!!!!!! In the end...I used 1. 1 lousy blanket, I saved $1. At midnight when I was dropping off the truck, I sat in the parking lot folding those damn things. ONE DOLLAR!!!!!!!! What a lazy bitch that chick is!

In the end, the move was not nearly that bad. The only casualty was about 3 broken glasses, which I'm pretty sure were 3 that I've "accidentally" walked out of local bars when they've somehow managed to find their way into my pocket or something. I guess thats Karma.

So, June 30, 2007....who wants to help me move? :)

Time for a New Cell Phone

My phone has slowly but surely been dying for the last month or so. Its a flip phone, and the display on the front officially doesn't work anymore. So for the last few weeks I've been trying to figure out what phone to get. I went into a Cingular store by my new place (don't worry, a blog is forthcoming about how much moving SUCKS!). At this point, I narrowed it down to 3 phones. A Nokia, an LG and a Sony Ericsson phone. In the store they have computers with quazi-internet access. I think you can only go to google.com and cingular.com. Thats it. But that was all I needed! I had a stroke of pure genius. I went to google and typed in the model of each phone along with the word "sucks" and looked at all the responses. It basically directs you to message boards where whiny 14 yr olds probably complain about their little lives (if you're 14 and reading this, no offense!!! but you know I'm right!) For both the Nokia (sorry Divya!) & LG phones there seems to be alot of complaining. But when I get to the Sony Ericsson phone, and here's what I see:

"Anyone who says this phone sucks, Sucks on D!@%. Sorry i love it."

That was all I needed to see. I was sold. Sorta. The price in the store was $39.99...or I could get it online, from the very same company for $19.99 2 days later! Morons!!!! So here I sit, waiting on pins and needles to finally have a new phone again!!!