A Jewish Christmas

I'm pretty sure it's written in the Torah, that every year, on December 25th, all jew's are to venture to Jerusalem a Chinese Restaurant (and a movie theatre). So as a good little jew, I did just that. To make things even more jewy, I took my jew-friend Shari, to see jew-actor Adam Sandler's new movie - Bedtime Stories. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, it's a Disney Movie. It was actually pretty good.

Next up was finding the Chinese place. I hadn't yet found a good one by house that I liked, so after some research, and by the request of non-jew, Jeremy, we picked out a buffet. Only one problem...the "China Buffet" we saw on the internet (with the worlds best egg roll's according to the review) no longer existed. In it's place was a Chin-Chin, which I've been to, and didn't really want to go back. Jeremy was actually already there, with a table, but I got him to bail. We drove around for a bit, thought about trying a Thai place, but it was closed...Surprisingly, Hooters was open! We kept driving and found a place called "House of Chan". Perfect! The parking lot even smelled good! There was actually a bit of a line outside to get a table, probably another good sign. Eventually we get seated...no buffet though. The waitress had a shirt that said "Thing" in sparkles. She said that was actually her name. It's kinda tough to understand if a Chinese person is being funny sometimes.

Anyways, we look at the menu, and much laughter ensues. Never have I seen so many typo's on a menu in my life. Sure, I understand it's not their language. But I usually think Chinese people are pretty smart...smart enough to use spell checker at least! See below, see how many typo's you can find. You should be able to click on em to make em larger. My favorite is "fride rice".






With all that said, the food was VERY good. We even had a conversation with the manager about the Chinese Diet. I probably learned more talking to that guy than I knew about food in the last 2 years. But, much like college, I've forgotten pretty much all of it already :) I do remember he said that spicy food prevents colds and eating bamboo prevents colon cancer...I think.

Danielson Checks himself into Hospital

CBS Announcer Danielson Checks himself into Hospital

ATLANTA, GA — At approximately 11 pm Saturday night, CBS sports announcer Gary Danielson realized it was time to head for the emergency room.

"Every single commercial for a male virility pill, like Viagra or Cialis, says that if your erection lasts for more than four hours, then you should call a doctor," Danielson said. "Well I had the biggest Tebowner of my life yesterday, and it started about 3 pm eastern time and it wasn't gone by 11 pm, and I knew it wasn't even close to being gone, so I came to the ER."

The Tebowner seems to have been a direct result of Tim Tebow's dominant performance in the SEC Championship game against Alabama. As of the publication of this piece, Danielson remained in care with a lot of attention being paid to him, as doctors worked in vain to figure out what they could do to treat the Tebowner.

"It's a really difficult thing to treat," said Dr. Pervez Mushtaf, of the Atlanta Regional Medical Center. "Tebowners start off and they feel so great, you're like, 'Damn, Tim Tebow is awesome, I could feel like this forever, I hope that this feeling never ends,' that sort of thing. But then you find yourself about four hours later and you're like, ' Jesus, I mean, I love Tim Tebow, I really love Tim Tebow, but holy crap, this thing has got to go away.'"

A Tebowner is defined by the American Journal of Medicine as a "severe swelling of the genitalia resulting from long-term visual exposure to the exploits of Tim Tebow on the college football field."

Tebowners occur naturally following viewing of Florida Gators games for many people, with an extremely high prevalence in television announcers and University of Florida graduates.

"I'm not sure why, but we treat a lot of TV announcers who have severe Tebowners," Mushtaf said. "Barely a week goes by where I don't spend part of Sunday chucking cold water on Brent Musburger's hoo-hah, if you know what I mean."

As for Danielson, doctors are keeping their fingers crossed that his Tim Tebow-inspired "condition" will subside.

"We've tried cold water, and we've tried ice cubes, and we've even tried naked pictures of Rosie O'Donnell," Mushtaf said. "Nothing has worked so far. But now we've got him in there watching this year's game between the Iowa Hawkeyes and Indiana Hoosiers. That ought to make it go away."

Tebowners are a serious problem in the southeastern part of the country, where Tim Tebow is frequently viewed, and long-lasting Tebowners have been negatively affecting men across Florida for the last two years. It is a much more severe affliction than the fast-spreading Peter Warrdick that plagued Tallahassee briefly in the early part of the 1990s.

Unconquered My Ass!!!!!

Last night I suffered through yet another FSU loss, not I only did I suffer through the game (where we had to play without FIVE 5!!!!!!!!! wide receivers) but it was about 40 degrees with 20 MPH winds. In row 67, it was pretty miserable. FSU lost 27-17, and it was still much much much much easier to take than the last FSU game I went to at Georgia Tech 2 weeks ago, but I'm not trying to remember that right now.

I have an issue with FSU's new little slogan. 2 years ago, FSU debuted new all black uniforms (I still think they should try black helmets). I actually like em. But what I don't like...and I know this has to do with the actual Seminole Indian Tribe more than the football team, but on the side of the pants is the word, "UNCONQUERED". Well, guess what? If I'm a Boston College fan, I'm having a blast with it. In 2006, the all black uniforms made their debut against, guess who? Boston College. Guess which team was conquered that day? Yep. The Seminoles. Last year, FSU wised up and wore the black uniforms against Duke. Not really fair. So yesterday, back came the black uniforms. And guess who got conquered again.

I understand paying tribute to the Seminole Indian tribe, but how about we let THEM remain unconquered and the FSU football pants can just say, and bare with me on this, it's pretty drastic...NOTHING.

Oh how I miss you Leon Washington!!!! Thanks for beating the Patriots though!

If I'm a Boston College fan, I take this statue, cross out the "UN" and put the scores to the 2006 and 2008 games under it. And bam, you have a t-shirt to sell making fun of us. It's that easy. And sad.

Can someone mention to whoever makes these decisions that FSU is 8-0 all time in the all garnet get-ups?

Guerilla Radio

Man I am soooooo behind on my blogging! I really wanna get this one in quickly.

Last Friday night, I hung out with Jason in his first fatherhood fun night out. After grabbing some food, we were trying to figure out what to do, so we put our future in our friend, Jeanie. We definitely wanted to go somewhere with live music, preferably a decent cover band. With the power of the internet, we looked up what was going on when the mostest awesomest thing EVER popped up on the screen. A Rage Against the Machine "tribute" band. Just like that we were instantly excited. They played at the upstairs portion of East Andrews.

So we found out about this show pretty randomly about an hour before it was supposed to start, so we rushed off to go over there. They even had some guy open up for him who was really pretty good. He played some recognizable cover songs. Then came "Guerilla Radio" (which is a title of one of RATM's popular songs for those not in the know). And they were AWESOME. Whenever I go with Jason to see a cover band, we always look forward and scream for them to "play some Rage!" The only downfall of the concert was how empty it was in there. I almost felt bad. These guys said this was their first show in Atlanta and the crowd was sparse. Whoever was in charge of spreading the word about this band did an absolutely terrible job. I would've planned my weekend around this concert! But it worked out, with an hour's notice, we went down there and had a BLAST.

Halloween

I can't say I'm a big fan of Halloween. I think they should reschedule it for a few weeks sooner. It TOTALLY disrupts my birthday! Especially this year when Halloween was Friday and my birthday was Sunday. But I made the best of it.

For whatever reason, Halloween is a pretty big deal at work. There's a costume contest, so I give it a shot each year. The winner gets a DAY OFF! Which, for my place of employment is highly valuable, since they're pretty few and far between it seems. So here's a mini-montage of Halloween the last few years...

2003 - The Nerd

2004 - Charlie Brown (hard to tell in the picture but I just tried to kick the football when Lucy, errr Tim pulled the ball out from under me and I went flying)

2005 - an Atlanta Thrasher (complete with black eye, blood and missing tooth). This was obviously my favorite costume and I was disappointed not to have won anything. I skated (well, roller bladed) around the office all day!

2006 - uhhh, Jason

2007 - Napoleon Dynamite (yes that's a tater tot I took out of my pocket)

2008 - pregnant. (I'd like to point out some water that just made its way to the ground just behind me and some reactions to it. That was awesome)

So after 6 pretty good attempts I finally cracked through. Third place. $25 gift card. I'll take it! (Although I still think the hockey player costume was better)

I can now say that I have a new found respect for pregnant people. Sitting at my desk with that thing in the way was a PAIN! Luckily my pregnancy only last 6 hours or so, well, before re-using the costume Saturday night of course!

Weezer-i-oke

This past Saturday I went with some friends to go see Angels & Airwaves and Weezer at The Arena At Gwinnett Center. Angels & Airwaves were really good, but they only played about 6 songs or so! When they left the stage I could've sworn lead singer Tom DeLonge said, "we'll be back in a minute to rock the roof off this place". Well, I guess I heard wrong, at that point I was kinda expecting the band to come back out and play some more. No such luck.

They took the stage down and eventually out came Weezer. This was easily a top 5, maybe even top 3 concert I've been to. And I've been to a lot of em! (That's not even updated).

Here's a video of a guitar solo and then me kariokeing (is that a word?) along to the Sweater Song...(sorry for the bouncy camera, I'm no pro)

Here's the set list...

Now this may have been the coolest thing I've EVER witnessed at a concert. A local radio station, I assume 96.7 The Buzz (is 99x still trying the online thing?) held a contest to have a few musicians auditions to take part in a song during the concert. Well, they managed to get about 30-40 people on stage during the songs "Island in the Sun" and "Beverly Hills" (I'm pissed that my camera died, no more videos and I had to jack other peoples' pictures. They had a ton of different instruments on stage including guitars, drums, a bassoon?, cello, trumpet, saxophone, and even a tap dancer, who got the most love from the band - even a hug from Weezer lead singer Rivers Cuomo.

Matching outfits! They all wore white first, then stripped those off into the red track suits in the video above.

Congrats to the Ralls'

Riley Anne Ralls (formerly known as Eggbert) was born at 11:34pm on Friday October 17th, 2008. I am (un)officially an uncle!!!!

Typically I am not a big fan of kids but I've been friends with Jason (and eventually Tara) for a long time and I'm very excited for them. In fact, I was over at their house Thursday night, trying to setup their wireless modem when Tara said she hoped that she would be in the 5% that actually have their baby on time (Riley was due on Saturday). Maybe five minutes later, she followed that up with ... "my water broke!" I'm half surprised I didn't run out the front door and all the way back to my place to hide, but I didn't. I was legitimately excited for them. Weird!

I went with Tracy, Kim and Michael to visit them at the hospital on Saturday...pictures soon to come...including my kick ass baby gift for Tara mainly, not so much for the baby :)

Jason, the proud new daddy of a conehead :)

Aunt Tracy actually looks like she knows what she's doing. Or at least she looks happy!

As for me, I'm kinda wingin it!

Kim is so good at this she looks bored

And here is my gift to them. Tara actually requested that I brough her beer in the hospital, but this is clearly the next best thing...

And with Tracy's assistance the labels really came out AWESOME!

"Welcome Riley
Love, Uncle J
Bottom's Up"