A Moment of Silence

Georgia brewheisters steal 2,600 cases of beer
Thieves on the lam after taking loaded tractor-trailers and swiping the suds

ALBANY, Ga. - Sounds like some south Georgia crooks have been stocking up for a big holiday bash.

Thieves took tractor-trailers loaded with beer and swiped the suds twice within the past week, authorities said.

Dougherty County authorities are investigating a report of a missing 53-foot-long trailer that was loaded with more than 2,300 cases of beer. Police said the beer disappeared sometime between Dec. 21 and Thursday.

Also on Dec. 21, more than 300 cases of beer were stolen from another tractor-trailer, which had a tracking device. The trailer was driven about three miles before it was emptied, according to police.

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I'll do some math for you guys...2,600 cases, 24 beers in a case...carry the one...that's 62,400 beers have been kidnapped!!!! What a heinous (yes I had to get help from my friend Mr. Spellchecker) crime! It's good to know that the beer trucks had tracking devices. Hopefully the beer can be recovered and sent to my fridge where it belongs before it gets too skunky!

The Most Boring 36 Hours of my Year has Begun

Although I'm definitely looking forward to some Chinese food tomorrow!!!




It's hard to be a Jew on Christmas
My Friends won't let me join in any games...
And I can't sing Christmas songs
Or decorate a Christmas tree...
Or leave water out for Rudolph
'cause there's something wrong with me...
My people don't believe in Jesus Christ's divinity...
I'm a Jew, a lonely Jew...on Christmas.

Hanukkah is nice, but why is it,
That Santa passes over my house every year?
And instead of eating Ham
I have to eat Kosher Latkes...
Instead of Silent Night
I'm singing hou-hazch-tou-gavish...
And what the f**k is up
With lighting all these f**king Candles, tell me please?

I'm a Jew, a lonely Jew...
I can't be merry, 'cause i'm Hebrew...on Christmas.


*-Note - the lyrics of the above song are not necessarilly the views of this blog and is not meant to be taken seriously, unless you are an 8 year old jewish kid in a cartoon in South Park, CO.

Thanks,
management.

ATL Noise: Volume 5, Issue 2

It's been a while, kind of a crappy list of concerts recently, and the trend continues. Of this list I'd really like to see Hot Hot Heat, Louis XIV show...and the Bravery...in case anyone's listening. And I'm always up for seeing a standup show!

Fri 12/28/2007 - Appetite For Destruction - Trib. To Guns N' Roses @ Peachtree Tavern
Fri 12/28/2007 - Shiny Toy Guns, The Futurists @ Park Tavern; FREE!!!
Sat 12/29/2007 - White Leppard Crue (Def Leppard tribute, I assume?) @ Andrews Upstairs
Fri 01/11/2008 - Hot Hot Heat, Louis XIV, Editors @ Coca-Cola Roxy Theatre ; 7:30pm, $24
Tue 01/29/2008 - Ween @ Tabernacle; 8:00pm, $30
Fri 02/01/2008 - Saliva @ Masquerade; 7:00pm, $20
Sat 02/09/2008 - The Bravery, Switches @ Coca-Cola Roxy Theatre ; 8:00pm, $16
Sun 02/10/2008 - Van Halen, Ky-Mani Marley @ Philips Arena
Thu 02/14/2008 - Edwin McCain Band @ Coca-Cola Roxy Theatre ; 8:00pm, $20
Sat 03/08/2007 - Jim Norton (Comedian) @ Roxy; 8:00pm, $27.50
Fri 03/21/2008 - Chris Rock (Comedian) @ Fox Theatre
Mon 03/24/2008 - Avenged Sevenfold, Bullet For My Valentine, Atreyu, Blessthefall, D'espairsray, Idiot Pilot, Mucc, The Underneath (Japan) @ The Arena At Gwinnett Center
Fri 03/28/2008 - Frank Caliendo (Comedian) @ Cobb Energy Performing Arts Centre
Fri 03/28/2008 - Paula Poundstone (Comedian) @ Ferst Center For The Arts
Wed 04/30/2008 - Bon Jovi, Daughtry @ Philips Arena
Sun 06/15/2008 - The Cure @ The Arena At Gwinnett Center

(Kinda sorta) Meeting Tom Glavine

Tonight I went to one of the best games I think I ever saw the Thrashers play. They played the (arguably) NHL-best Ottawa Senators. This season the Thrashers have gotten out shot (by alot) in all but 2 games. Tonight they come out and manage to get 21 shots in the first period...a franchise record. Of course, they were losing 1-0. They wound up winning 3-2 while getting another franchise record 45 shots.

You're probably wondering, isn't Tom Glavine a baseball player? Yep. But, did you know...he was drafted into the NHL as a goalie* by the L.A. Kings? In the 4th round! Brett Hull, a future hall of famer was drafted 2 rounds later. Luc Robitaille, another future hall of famer was drafted by the Kings 5 rounds later! True story! Anyways, Tom Glavine recently signed with the Atlanta Braves, which is where he belongs and where I hope he has a miserable season!!! He was also sitting 3 rows in front of me at the game tonight with his wife and two kids (as you can see by the terrible picture from my phone). My last memory of Tom Glavine was on the last day of the regular season when he single handedly blew it for my Mets by allowing 8 runs in 2/3rds of the first inning. If the Mets would've won that game, they would've had a shot at making the playoffs. But they didn't and they completed one of the biggest choke jobs of all time. And I remember being with my family in New Jersey driving and listening to that crap on the radio. I was soooooo PISSED.

I had to at least say something to him though. When I first realized he was there, I was gonna actually try and talk to him, but he had a HUGE thing of nachos he was shoving in his face. So, I didn't want to bother him. I didn't get a chance til the game was over, I just asked him if he was up for suiting up to play goalie if the Thrashers needed him. He laughed and said no way. And that was it. I didn't have the balls to tell him I was a Mets fan and incredibly mad at him!!! :)

EDIT: I was wrong, I learned today (01/08/08) that Tom Glavine was NOT a goalie, he was a center. Or, as they say up north, a centre. My bad!

Coming to the Defense of my 'Noles

An academic cheating scandal could leave Florida State without as many as
25 players for its Music City Bowl game against Kentucky on New Year’s Eve,
coach Bobby Bowden said Tuesday.

The university reported its findings in a letter to the NCAA in September
after a six-month investigation by the school revealed at least 23 athletes in
various sports were interviewed in regard to cheating on an online music history
exam.

So there it is. I'm awaiting the call to actually suit up and play defense in the Bowl Game on New Years Eve, but until then, I'll just defend them. I actually took that Music History class when I was in school. Ironically, the professor at the time (not sure if its the same guy) was a man named Tommy Wright. He wrote the FSU fight song and is alledgedly the face that the Seminole head logo is modelled after. Anyways, I took the class while I was at FSU, obviously it wasn't online, but it was probably one of the easiest classes around. I'm almost positive I never studied and still managed at least a B in there. I'm not condoning cheating, but for them to make that class an online class...thats just asking for trouble. I'm convinced that this goes on at every school, but that doesn't make it ok. They got caught, up to 25 athletes (not just football) are gonna get suspensions. And that sucks for me, because my life revolves around FSU football and now they're gonna suck again next year and I'm gonna suffer right there with them!

Kim & Brian's Wedding Weekend, Part III - Mr. & Mrs. Brian Cooper

I think I let this wait long enough, hell the wedding was 1 month ago today and I promised myself to get this done before their honeymoon, so without for uhhh due...

So by now you're probably dying to know if we made it back in time for pictures!!!! No? Oh well, I'll end the suspense anyways...we did. I cut myself shaving about 4 times, but I made it! And it turned out that the photographer didn't even get started with us for another half hour or so, so we would've had plenty more time to wait at the bar for some more food and drinks that we'd probably never see! Ok, enough bitching about that place.

I guess this would be a good time to let everyone know that there are gonna be many pictures scattered throughout this blog. They're not exactly in chronological order, but it's too much work for me to rearrange them, and everyone knows that laziness is one of my best qualities!

I do have a new-found appreciation for photographers. Who knew that taking pictures would be such hard work? Well, when you're up against the clock and trying to get about 50 people gathered for specific planned pictures. Its tough! I got to play the role of Kim's bitch for a couple of hours...Emily tricked me into it!!!! So I had to make sure everyone was where they needed to be. Which was also tough, considering some people (I won't mention dannyone's name) hadn't even arrived at the hotel yet! After family pictures were done, Kim and Brian were officially getting married...I think. The wedding party, parents and two witnesses were all in a conference room while the rabbi actually married them. The end.

Just kidding!

So now comes the actual ceremony. Remember how I said during the rehearsal dinner that we never actually rehearsed?? Well, nothings changed. Still haven't rehearsed. I had no clue what I was supposed to be doing. First I was told that I was gonna be walking Bubbie to her seat then come back outside. Simple enough. Then I got back in line, in some order that may or may not have been randomly determined while I was gone. Everything wound up working out just fine. All us groomsmen were able to figure out where to go...then the bridesmaids and all the other normal wedding stuff. Brian came out...then came Kim. Everyone stood, I assume to block my view. Thanks guys! So Kim walked down the aisle, and started walking circles around Brian. Needless to say I was confused, but apparently there's a Jewish tradition that I didn't know about:

There is a longstanding tradition among Jews that when the bride first arrives at the Chuppah, she walks around him seven times. Circling is a magical means of protection. By walking around the groom, the bride creates an invisible wall to protect him from evil spirits. Her circuits symbolically create a new family circle, demonstrating that her primary commitment has shifted from her parents to her husband and that her husband is now bound to her more intimately than to
his parents.

Learn something new everyday, huh? So they got married (again?) then after the ceremony, we totally winged the walking out portion. And the wedding party got to rest up, eat a little, drink a little and take some more pictures downstairs during the cocktail hour. At this point I was absolutely exhausted, I'm not used to being on my feet for more than 10 minutes at a time! (Kidding! But seriously, I was running around standing for a couple hours, and as I mentioned earlier...I'm way too lazy for that! I took this time to do some research for my speech, it was a college football Saturday and I hadn't seen any score updates in HOURS!!! People were counting on me for me for updates! Most important game was first...for Brian (and Emory), Kansas beat Iowa State, for whatever reason someone was disappointed to know that Miami lost to Virginia Tech (sorry Lauren, although you are the only non-obnoxious Miami fan I've ever met...more on that later).

Turns out this is gonna be a four-part story, hell, maybe five at this rate!!!! Keep checking!!!!

A Me Update

I swear, I haven't forgotten Part 3, its at least halfway done!!!!

So yesterday I had a follow up appointment for my eye. (My radiation was 11 months ago!!! January sucked, but time I guess has flown by since then!) Everything's going really good! The remains of the tumor (please remember to use the Arnold voice) has shrunk in thickness by about 21% which is really good. The diameter apparently won't really shrink too much, but the thickness is what's important from what I've learned. The only bad news I got all day is that my doctor is leaving Emory!!!! I am SOOOOOOOO thankful that I got to be under his care while he was still there. He's a great man, and he even cracked a joke on me yesterday. I have a history of wearing slightly humorous shirts, as most of you know. My mom asked me if I still wear my glasses at all. So I said, rarely, only when I want to look smart. Without a pause, Dr. Aaberg comes back with "you'd look alot smarter if you stopped wearing those shirts." Ouch!!!!!! :)

The pressure in my eye also went down from 23 to 21 (whatever that means, but its a good thing). I had 2 separate doctors (including Aaberg) who mentioned that marijuana and alcohol (Hooray BEER!!!!) help lower eye pressure!

So in all, I had 4 hours worth of exams, including about 10 different eye drops, reading a couple of eye charts (I'm still 20-20!), a sonogram, about 4 sudoku puzzles and way too many digital photos that irritated the HELL out of my eye. But in the end, I got good news and that's all that matters!!!

Thanks to all of you for your prayers and good wishes, they worked!!!! And most of all, thank you Dr. Aaberg! I'll miss you!